Catch me if you Can

I was traveling home Sunday afternoon and listening to my NPR podcasts in the car. I enjoy a wide range of podcasts from NPR, but one of my favorites is Wait, Wait, Don't tell me! It a great hour long weekly current events quiz show hosted by Peter Sagel, out of Chicago. I highly recommend that you check out their podcast here: http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/index.html. You'll learn something and be amused at the same time. Ok, enough plugging the show, back to my point.



One of the questions they asked was: what new product contains a gps tracking device that has some womens rights groups outraged? This was an episode from November, so perhaps you've all heard of this, but the answer is lingerie. To this I say, Really? I find this disturbing on several levels. The line is called Catch me if you Can, and comes from Lucia Lorio, a designer in Brazil. The designer says that the reason for the GPS is "'In London, New York, Rio de Janiero - wherever there is danger, the underwear may prove to be a lifesaver." I'm sorry, but no. First of all, unless you're giving the lingerie out to prostitutes, what average woman wears her lingerie around town running errands, or better yet to work or a night out? In the bedroom, and on the floor, where proper lingerie belongs, there is no need for GPS. I also question the women right's groups who are calling this invention a modern day chasity belt. Any women who is dumb enough to wear lingerie with GPS attached to it to cheat on her boyfriend/husband should be caught. This whole concept is redicilous. Especially when the going rate for the two piece set is 500 euro, 700 euro for the advanced model. If you pay the extra 200 euro, will your lingerie drive you home too?

Bored in Ohio: Travel Channel Edition

On my recent trip from Charlotte to North Canton, i traveled through North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and Ohio. Along the way, I passed many the tourist spot (according to the makers of those fine brown highway signs).

The Glory that is: West Virginia's Finest

The Tamarack!

Among the most notable was of course: The Tamarack, West Virginia's finest. For the amount of money spend to advertise this local wonder, located smack dab in the center of the West Virginia turnpike, behind a rest stop and gas station, one would think that this was the center of West Virginia society. Things like Social events, fundraisers, charity auctions, and luncheons must be among the everyday happenings at this artist's mecca on the side of highway 77. I did stop at the Tamarack once, just to see

if it was indeed, worth all fuss. What I found inside was a glorified gift shop, along with cafeteria, theatre for local plays and artist's showcases where you could watch a glass blower or violin maker at work. Its actually a nice little operation that they run there, but i do question why this glorious place is located on the side of the turnpike. But, we are talking about the West Virginians here, so go figure.

Picture of me, outside the tamarack

**I'm sorry, if anyone is offended by my attitude towards WV, i'm sure you're a fine state filled with fine people, that i have yet to run into. Perhaps I should venture off the turnpike and into your small towns**

The other most notable tourist attraction comes in southern ohio, near nobel county.

Big Muskie Bucket. Every time I pass the sign that says Big Muskie Bucket, i ask myself, what the hell is that? So, i've devoted the rest of this post to informing all of my fine readers what lies 16 miles west of I-77, in Caldwell, Ohio. The bucket is the centerpiece of miner's memorial park in southern ohio. Its the world's largest dragline and one of the seven engineering wonders of the world. Who knew that such wonders lye less than two hours south from my hometown? Well, you, my faithful readers are in for a treat, here in my blog, you will find a sneak peak of Ohio's own, muskie bucket! Here it is, in all of its mining glory. It weighs 460,000 lbs empty and 640,000 when full. If anyone has actually visited this attraction, please let me know. If you haven't you should now feel like you don't need to! You're welcome!

So, as some of you know, my best friend's step-dad passed away from cancer this past week. I'm been friends with her for quite some time now, and know her family, so i made the trip from Charlotte to North Canton for the funeral this weekend. The general reason for this trip was rather depressing, but it did yield some rather entertaining travel stories.

1) i stopped off on two different exits to search for the A&W Root beer stand that was advertised on the side of the highway. Perhaps they should take some of the city stimulus money and update their signs, because i found no said root beer stand. TWICE! But I did find a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, so my world once again felt right.

2) Next stop was Princeton, West Virginia, where i stopped at the local BP for gas. Let me tell you, i'm not a huge fan of WV. Not to mention, they really pissed me off when they recently changed their state motto from Open for Business to Wild and Wonderful. Princeton really also needs to campaign for some stimulus money because their gas stations do not have pay at the pump service. I didn't even know this was an option. But its really annoying, because you have to walk in, give mr. mountain man "something to hold on to" in this case, my car keys, and then go pump and walk back in to pay. Annoying!

3) Right outside of charleston, WV, i found myself in need of a bathroom and food. So, I stopped at a gas station/subway. EWW, but you gotta do what you gotta do. But, I'm glad I stopped because I encountered the most retarded subway employees of all time! Let me set the scene, there are 4 people in line, and 2 people working the counter. Its 7pm. They're out of bread, imagine that, a subway out of bread. But, then the other worker points out that they do have 3 footlong pieces of honey wheat left. So lucky for me, im the 3 person in line. So i get my sub and i'm approaching the cash register when crazy west Virginia women comes running in the door and throws herself in front of me. With the most southern accent i've ever heard,

she says, "i need an application. I see you're hiring. Can you please give me a job?"

subway employee- "yeah, we're a real shorthanded right now, its just me and her working all basically all the shifts, but we're getting ready to hire four people probably tomorrow, so get your application in soon."

unemployed woman- "i live 5 miles down the road, i'm available at all times of the day, i need a job real bad, can i speak with the manager?"

subway employee- "i'm the assistant manager, but our hiring goes through our regional manager, you'll have to call her.

unemployed woman- whats her name?

subway employee- her name is sue, um, her last name is smith, no wait that was my last name when i was married this last time, her last name is jones. no wait thats not it, i dont know her name. (i mean shes only your boss)

unemployed woman leaves with promise of returning application in the early am, and subway employee goes, wow, i like her, she really made a good impression.

Me- still waiting to pay for my sub. I shall never return to that subway.

I wish I could make a living on people watching. I'm at Panera with JB right now, and the most annoying girl i've ever encountered is working the counter. Yesterday was her birthday, and she has a big order coming in. She's also VERY excited that today is valentines day, as she is wishing it to everyone who comes through her line. Wow, that roof is red.

There are a man and woman at the table next to us, and I'm not quite sure on the dynamic of their relationship, but if this is an outing with romantic intentions, dude may want to stop referencing his ex-wife, and what she expected out of him. I wonder if they can see my computer screen because there was suddenly a very long, very awkward pause.

To my left, there is an older gentleman who is talking on his cell phone while eating his pick two. He made a trip to Wooster this morning and found out the answer to a question that i've been asking my entire life. Do you want to know what an amish man wife buys his wife for valentine's day? A corn scoop. He found this information so pertinent that he called his loved on on the phone to tell them about it. WOW. Welcome to Ohio.

The women at the table behind me are talking about their children and their very demanding Jackson soccer coaches. You really should hear this, because they're talking about it like its life and death situation here. Very intense.

Well, loyal blog readers, (population- me) that is all for now.